Stuck in a Mess!

What am I stuck in!? Seriously! Feels like one huge mess! On one hand, I feel guilty. On the other I feel my stance is absolutely right. And it's the I-don't-open-up-thing all over again! I am like that. Period. I don't know why! It's just how it is. End of story. Something I wrote in reply for a something that went like this: "I don't know if it's already over but I hope it is not. You know I like you most in the class and I still do.The mistake can be on either sides. Both of us are offended. Why not just talk and set things right? I don't know your mindset 'cause you never tell about it. But if you are offended I'm sorry and I meant every word."

I don't know what to say;
I just forget things right away.
There are things I wish never happened.
There are also stuff I wish I told.
I know I don't open up,
But it's just because I suck at it;
And sometimes I don't want to open up,
For reasons which words can't say.
I know I'm one complicated person,
I know it's tough when one gets close to me,
But somehow, I don't mind being that way.
The reason - I don't know how to say.
There are so many things I want you to know,
I don't know the right way, so I keep them low.
There was this huge rush of thoughts the other evening,
And then, just an empty mind.
All I know is that I'm exhausted-
To think, to talk, to analyse.
May be some day when I feel better,
May be some day when I'm stronger,
May be some day...

-Shreeji